Very Diabolical

Congratulations. You have the found the official web presence of the Diabolical Conspiracy. Now we have to kill you. We can't have you spreading word of the conspiracy around. Unless, of course, you are diabolical enough to join us. One additional question you must ask of yourself before answering that question is...are you evil? Because if you are not truly dedicated to the advancement of all things evil and diabolical, then you are not fit to join the Diabolical Conspiracy. Obviously this may call for a great deal of introspection and soul-searching. Don't worry. You have time. Indoctrination into the Conspiracy is a quite long and almost incomprehensibly complicated process involving multiple blood sacrifices during the correct phases of the moon along with complete memorization of the works of H.P. Lovecraft and whoever writes those Twilight books, along with the ability to recite any random passage from said works whenever commanded. Just for starters. Beer may also be involved, but do not count on it as a Conspiracy novice. In fact, in the initial phases of your time as a Conspiracy recruit you will be required to donate 75% of your weekly income to the Conspiracy beverage fund. Failure to comply with this requirement will result in immediate decapitation. So you can see that nothing less than total commitment to our evil cause is necessary for success in our organization. Do you have it takes? Do you really? Are you EVIL?

Also, please note that Diabolical Conspiracy must always be capitalized. Lower case written references to our name will also result in dismemberment and forfeiture of adult beverage privileges. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

Come to think of it, when speaking of the Diabolical Conspiracy, one's inflection must also make it clear that one is thinking of the words in capital letters.

Stay tuned for more diabolical news. Those of you who are not diabolical or evil at all are hereby commanded to forget all of the above because you are super lame.